Humor Shorts
by The Surrealist
Summary: This is where you can get the most funniest humor shorts! Click the title, read, and PLEASE review! Don't flame me, please! Rating MIGHT go up.
1. Draco and Harry

Hello, this is where you can get the funniest Humor Shorts in the whole site!

Only 1 review per short, please. Oh, and if you don't leave a review, but read the shorts, well, you should know that you are so cheap. Enjoy! Also, if you want a high-rated humor short, e-mail me asking for it, and also indicate your name. Thanx!

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy

Draco: I loathe you, Potter.

Harry: Here's the thing, we started out friends...

Draco: What did you just say, Potter?

Harry: Wasn't long 'till I call you mine...

Draco: (starts to gag)

Harry: How come I never hear you say, 'I just wanna be with you', guess you never felt that way...

Draco: (runs to the bathroom to barf)

Harry: And all you ever hear me say, is how I picture me with you...

Draco: (comes back into room) Potter, you've finally gone off your rocker.

Harry: (VERY LOUDLEY) Thanks to you, now I get, what I want...

Everyone in the room is staring at Harry singing and Draco becoming red

Draco: (red in the face) POTTER!

Harry: (takes out earphones) what, did you say something, Malfoy?

Draco: (faints)

Harry: If you had nothing to say then-puts earphones back in-since you been gone! I can breathe for the first time!

Hehehe, wasn't this funny? The song Harry was singing was 'Since U Been Gone' by Kelly Clarkson.


	2. Hermione, Harry and Draco

Hello, this is where you can get the funniest Humor Shorts in the whole site!

Only 1 review per short, please. Oh, and if you don't leave a review, but read the shorts, well, you should know that you are so cheap. Enjoy!

Humor Shorts: 2

Hermione and Draco

Hermione: We won by 458 points, Malfoy.

Draco: No, you won by 457 points, Mudblood.

Hermione: 458!

Draco: No, 457!

Hermione: Harry, right we won by 458 points?

Harry: Yup.

Draco: Humph, No! (storms out)

The next day

Harry: Yesterday, about what I said that we won by 458 points?

Hermione: Oh yeah! I forgot to thank you!

Harry: Uhh, Hermione...

Hermione: Yeah?

Harry: Draco was right.

Hermione: ...

(Draco enters the room)

Draco: See? Told you I was right!

Harry: How'd you know we were talking about you?

Draco: Uhh, that...umm...well...you see...

Yeah, I know, this one's crummy. If you have any ideas, leave a review saying so, and I'll e-mail you, asking for the details.


	3. Draco, Harry, Hermione and Ron

Hello, this is where you can get the funniest Humor Shorts in the whole site!

Only 1 review per short, please. Oh, and if you don't leave a review, but read the shorts, well, you should know that you are so cheap. Enjoy!

Humor Shorts

Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione

Ron: Look at this, guys!

Harry: Whoa, it's Texas!

Ron: Tex-ass? Wha zat?

Harry: Not Tex-ass, Texas. It's a state in America.

(Draco enters the room)

Draco: Yeah, for once, Pothead is right. People there go 'Get a dog, little longie, get a dog!' (Starts to walk around in circles saying it)

(Hermione enters the room)

Hermione: (Grabs Draco on the shoulders to stop him) Malfoy, it's 'Get along, little doggie.' smart one.

Draco: Oh...Yeah, I was just saying that to confuse these 2 idiots!

Harry and Ron: We are NOT idiots, Malfoy, for we are NOT the ones who messed up the places for 'long' and 'doggie'!

Draco: Whatever! (Storms out of the room)

Hermione: Uh...Guys, you know that he's gonna be REALLY mad?

Harry: Dun worry.

Ron: Yeah, mate, he'll get over it.

Hermione: How do you know?

Harry: He's either gonna have to stay outside in the halls, or in the Gryffindor's Dormitories, which will ruin his reputation.

Ron: Yep.

Hermione: What?

Harry: Dumbledore changed the Slytherin common room password, when Malfoy was in here with us.

Ron: We told Dumbledore that if he agrees, it'll help the Gryffindors and Slytherin's become friends, and he agreed!

Hermione: Ha ha! (has a laughing fit) –wipes tears from eyes- Ahh...

(Someone knocks on the door, guess who?)

Harry: Yes?

Draco: Can I come in for the night?

Harry, Hermione, Ron: BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Draco: What? Can I?

Isn't it funny? I think this one is my favorite. Wha da ya think? R&R, please!


	4. Mudblood

Humor Shorts

Mudblood

Hermione: -enters the Great Hall and stomps towards Malfoy-

Harry and Ron: -notices her storming off to Draco-

Ron: Blimey, Harry, she must be really mad, wonder what she's gonna do, though.

Harry: ...is that...mud on her arm? ..but what's that red..?

Ron and Harry: -quietly scampers toward Hermione, not wanting to miss out-

With Hermione and Draco

Hermione: Draco Malfoy!

Draco: -turns around with a sneer at Hermione- What do you want, Mudblood?

Hermione: Honestly, Draco, do you even know the meaning of Mudblood?

Draco: ...

Hermione: Well, if I'm a Mudblood, my blood will probably look like this!

-rolls her sleeve up to reveal mud smeared across blood-

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle: oO;; Omfg...

Draco: -winces- is that...actual Mudblood, Granger?

Hermione: As a matter of fact, yes it is. –glare-

Draco: my my...-thinks-...what is it you want?

Hermione: I want you to stop calling me a Mudblood, you half-bred!

With Harry and Ron

Harry: -tear-

Ron: She's lost it...

With Hermione and Draco

Draco: Fyi, Granger, I am a Pureblood. –sneer-

Hermione: -glance- do you even know what a Mudblood is?

Draco: ...err...um...No.

Hermione: oO I'm leaving. –turns around- Oh and Draco?

Draco: What is it, Granger?

Hermione: You are a big turd, did you know that? Also, you have a very low vocabulary. –struts away-

Author Note: I think the word "turd" is very funny. And YES, I know what it means. - -;; Well, I would adore you if you reviewed! Danke to my few reviewers!

Namely: Howl's Mirror, Phoenixtear19, Yoshimi Minamino, Chase Forever, Midnight Griffen, Rita Malfoy, and liannimation!

Love you all!

- B.C Company


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